Live at McClain's

It's almost 1 AM on Friday morning and I'm just getting back from McClain's Coffeehouse, a pretty well-known and trendy coffee shop in Fullterton. We went tonight to celebrate a friend's birthday (of about 3 weeks ago...hey, we're busy!). After coffee, sharing brownies and a couple serious games of Mafia - I am back home in my room and ready to sleep.

It's been a long day. It was our last day at Westminster TRC for our Mental Health Nursing roation and emotionally, I am very drained. My heart feels torn after leaving there tonight. I realized recently that I truly love those residents and have so enjoyed getting to know them and hear about their lives. When am I ever again going to have the opportunity to be at such a place for 13+ hours a week? We went in and just hung out for the day during our clinical there. Some of the clients I interacted with and got to know I don't think I ever would have approached on the street.

These are people, that, largely, haven't ever been truly loved. Some of them have no one. Some have deep legal pasts. Some have hurt others. Some have hurt themselves. It's scary, really. That's why I feel so blessed to have been there with them. Seeing them laugh, these deep, genuine laughs...I loved it.

My mission with one resident : to get him to at least acknowledge my presence. He paced relentlessly, was on the "no" list (no 1x1 interactions), and did not look at or talk to any of the students. Today, he talked to me, gave me a high-five and shook my hand as I left. It took over 60 hours at this facility, but a simple handshake made my entire day. I never had a conversation with him, but I said "Hi" and his name each time that I saw him. Having him respond, to me, felt like a milestone. Another client said he would miss me (in broken English) and another...well, he proposed, but that's another story. haha.

But yes, back to how this ties into the coffee shop experience tonight - After the long evening, it was so good to be with friends and relax as we enjoyed each other's company. My experience at TRC made me question what I want to do in nursing and what kind of nurse I want to be when I graduate. Thus, my mind has been a lot on the future. Bringing myself back to the present these last couple hours and living here, as a college student, brought me peace and confidence in the unknown future. I don't know how, but it did. I'll plan and think of the next few years, but I'll also live here and now, taking everything in and enjoying each conversation.

Thanks for reading.