Life is Beautiful

Life moves along fairly smoothly. I baked cookies with friends and learned to knit tonight, making me feel like quite the Susie Homemaker. =) Yes. Life's funny when I'm not in class. I get ready in the morning, drink my coffee and read the news, walk to work, come home, check email, talk to friends, go to the gym (and get my butt kicked by cardio and weight training - uggg!), have family dinner, and then spend some more time talking and enjoying the break from classes. I have fallen a bit in love with this routine.

Even so, there's been an underlying current which my free time grants me permission to think about and process. Granted, it's a stark contrast to the above brief update...but nonetheless still recent and significant.

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Beautiful. Life is beautiful. In the midst of tragedy, loss and pain, this is what I continually must remember. Despite the tears, God is good and just. When I do not understand why a 22-year old is now a widow and single mother - I must trust that God sustains, loves and plans. When I don't understand how a young woman gets into a motorcycle accident due to someone else's mistake and struggles to survive - I must remind myself that Jesus died that we may be reconciled and have an everlasting life when we are left with no more breaths in this one. When a father does not come home one night and his family gets a visit from police - our continued presence here on earth is more of a consequence than comfort. It leaves us in crying heaps on the floor because we are without those we love. Sudden, expected - it doesn't matter the context. The pain haunts.

One little boy will never have his dad play catch with him. His mother will never see her husband and her son's father safely come home from war. Parents will never hear their daughter's voice again. A daughter will never have her father walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. Oh, death. Why so much pain?

My own heart still hurts from the friends that I have lost. My mind still plays a surreal silent film of phone calls, plane flights, and the image of friends in their caskets. It's been three years and I still wonder nearly every day if the memories will ever go away. Are they supposed to, even? Or do the images stay with me so that I remember to live each day with an absolute zest for life? They did, after all.

I pray that for the families of those who have recently lost, God's comfort surrounds. I have seen His miracles, love and triumph. Even in a world where we face so much pain, He is God. For Natalie and her son, may God rain down love and let her cry with those she loves and those that love her. For Angie's parents, may there be strength. They've been surrounded since the accident earlier this week in prayer. Let that support help them as they journey through this. For Sarah and her family, let them remember their dad and all of the times that were wonderful. Let there be grace and mercy and unrelenting love.

I do not know any of those who have recently passed personally, but I do know those that knew them and loved them. Seeing their pain, questioning, and fear is enough to break my own heart. It is enough to challenge my peace. It draws me back to the Source and causes me to reach out how and when I can.

I do not have answers. I cannot cause the pain to go away. I can, however, live here and walk alongside the supporters, mourners and friends. May what I have to offer somehow, through the grace of God, be multiplied. Ultimately, may His peace reign and may glory prevail.

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